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Everyone has problems in life. For the most part, we can quickly solve them without much hassle. Either we come up with a quick solution, or we use a strategy that works in the past. For example, if you fall asleep in the morning and are late for work, you may decide to call work and explain the situation until you are dressed and half ready compared to normal time.
Problems become more complex when there is no obvious solution, and the strategies that you have tried in the past do not work. These types of problems cause severe stress and anxiety and require new and different strategies.
1. Solve the Problem
Sometimes it’s that simple. Let’s say you have a too-long to-do list. You may be worried. You can fret. You may resent it. Or you can start keeping an eye on things until things are done. Problem solved.
Or say that you and your partner are always fighting for money. This has become such a big deal that none of you want to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Well, you could sit down like two adults and overcome your odds. I did not say that it would be easy. But two creative, smart people who love each other can usually come to a compromise after they bite the bullet and start a sensible conversation instead of fighting.
However, if you and your partner never solve your problems with money, you can go for a divorce. Get rid of your partner, get rid of the problem, but this may not be your first choice.
2. Avoid the Problem
There may be some things in this to-do list that will go away if you wait long enough. Let’s say a kids shirt repair is on your list. Wait long enough and your child will outgrow the shirt. Problem solved. Or maybe you want to paint your house this summer. Wait long enough, and it will be October when it gets too cold or wet for the paint to dry. Problem has gone!
3. Cut the Problem Down to Size
Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to come up with a way to do it in stages. This to-do list will not be so intimidating if you decide to do three things a day. The fight for money would not look so insurmountable if you and your lover found a way to compromise so that you do not feel cheated.
Perhaps funneling a certain amount of money to one savings account and another account for expenses would ease the anxious partner’s mind. Then a certain amount of money play money can be placed in the wallet of each person.
4. Examine the Underlying Problem
Maybe the problem is not that your to-do list is too long. Maybe you really take too much responsibility for too many things. In this case, the problem is not indicated. The problem is your inability to say no.
Maybe working on a list is a way to avoid what you worry about. Maybe the longer the list, the more important you feel. In all these cases, it would be more useful to continue after the underlying issue than to worry about the list.
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